April 28, 2007

Today is our 2 year anniversary! It seems like only yesterday we were just friends getting to know each other, and at the same time it feels like we have been married FOREVER!!

I feel like Terry and I have grown so much these past 2 1/2 years that we have been together, we have learned ( somewhat, Terry better than me) when to pick of fight and when to just let it go. We have gotten into and out of debt together, we have moved 4 times in our short 2 years of marriage, got 2 dogs, got rid of 1, been to San Diego twice and out going again in May, we have been to Tennessee. We have lost jobs and lived on nothing, but managed it just fine. We have gotten pregnant, been sealed and have had a baby!

Life really is going good for us, Yes we have had struggles but doesn't everyone, we have great families who love and support us both! We have the cutest little boy ever that makes us laugh and fall more in love with him everyday with the cute things he does!

I love Terry so much and even though I get mad at him I can't imagine my life with out him, he provides for his family and works extra days to support us, he loves me for me and never complains when the house is dirty or when I don't look my best!

Terry I love you and I am looking forward to many more years and anniversary's together!!

Whats WRONG with ME?

This post is not meant to be a poor Heather post, more of a if you have any helpful suggestions please share..

Do you ever have those days, weeks, or months when you feel like you have no friends? Or perhaps you have no desire to do your make up/hair. Clean the house? Or just sit and do nothing?

I have been feeling like this for a while, I know that the friends I do have, have there own life and that every time I want to all get together or do something with one of them they can't just drop everything to come and do things with me.

And then I have those days where I don't want to do ANYTHING with ANYONE just be at home alone.

I wonder also, can you experience baby blues or PPD when your child is almost a year?

Sometimes I think MAN what I would give to work a couple days a week, but I really don't want to do that and I know that I am lucky to have the privilege to do that. My mom was with us kids until my youngest brother was in school and now she is back working to help support the family, so I know that I am lucky to not have to work.

Don't get me Wong I LOVE TITAN, I just think that every new mother or perhaps a mother of 6 has those days when the kid or kids try their patients. RIGHT? So am I going crazy?

I try sometimes to just get up and get ready for the day, but WHY? I know I'm not going anywhere that day and think why waste makeup? Or put the energy into it.. I weigh this much over what I want to and YES I know I don't go to the gym every day or twice a week that I am signed up for my that has NEVER been a big thing for me.

I feel so unattractive and all the sudden my face is breaking out ( NO I'M NOT PREGO) I just feel so moody all the time and feel like no one likes me, I have NEVER EVER been the type of person to care what people think of me, but now I find myself just wanting someone to talk to, to let it all out.. But I don't want to bother someone with my poor sad feelings I have..

PLEASE don't get this post wrong, I LOVE MY FAMILY, I love Terry and Titan with all that I am, they are my life!

Heather